Healing Shame in Couples:
Undoing the Fear/Shame Bind,
the Main Barrier to Love, Attachment, and Connection

The more we care about each other, the more vulnerable we are to shame. Intentionally or unintentionally, we poke each other in the tender spots. Couples can shame each other multiple times a day, often without realizing what is happening. This can become a highly reactive cycle, preventing both people from getting their basic safety and attachment needs met. The more we become afraid of losing connection or not getting our needs met, the more likely this becomes. And shame can distort how we hear each other; the received message may have little to do with the message the partner is attempting to send.

In this workshop we will explore the blame/shame game couples can fall into and learn how to help them stop shaming each other and work together to create a secure base and heal the wounds of the past.

We will:

  • Look at some of the many subtle ways shame can be triggered.

  • Explore shaming moments with great care so we can teach our clients how to avoid shame-based reactivity.

  • Learn the gentle art of counter-shaming and how to avoid triggering feelings of inadequacy in yourself or in another person.

  • Talk about, have compassion for and heal past shaming incidents within the relationship.

  • Help each person to understand, have compassion, and be there for each other—to learn to face the shame dragon together, to avoid shaming in the present and heal shame from the past. 

Learning Objectives

Participants will be able to:

Course Level: Beginning

There is no prerequisite for this course. It can be taken by itself or as part of a sequence.

CE credits are available only for LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs and LEPs in California – CAMFT Approved CE Provider #134393

This workshop is offered in the following formats:

  • Live, interactive workshop on Zoom in 2-day or 4-day format

  • Live, in-person, 2-day workshop (Note: Live, in-person workshops are currently suspended due to Covid-19.)

For a basic course agenda, click here. (Those registering will receive a full course agenda prior to the workshop.)

The Center for Healing Shame is approved by the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists to sponsor continuing education for LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs and LEPs in California – CAMFT-approved CE provider #134393. Courses meet the qualifications for 13 hours of continuing education credit for LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs and LEPs as required by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences. 

The Center for Healing Shame maintains responsibility for this program/course and its content.

WORKSHOP CANCELLATION POLICY

We do not offer refunds. The amount paid can be applied toward a future workshop within 12 months. Registrations are not transferable.

ACCOMMODATIONS FOR THE DIFFERENTLY ABLED

The Center for Healing Shame welcomes people who have disabilities. Our training location is wheelchair accessible. Please contact us to discuss your specific needs.

GRIEVANCE POLICY

The Center for Healing Shame seeks to ensure equitable treatment of every person and to make every attempt to resolve grievances in a fair manner.

If you have a grievance, please include your name and contact information and submit it in writing to Sheila Rubin (sheila@healingshame.com).

Grievances will receive, to the best of our ability, corrective action in order to prevent further problems.

Photo source: Vitaliy Deynega