Workshops for Therapists, Coaches, Teachers, Nurses, Doctors, Ministers, and Other Helping Professionals – Interactive, Online and In Person
These training workshops are designed to help therapists, coaches, teachers, nurses, and other helping professionals show clients how to recognize shame, work through it and move on. You will learn how to counter shame and how to become more sensitive to the shaming often implicit in the helping situation and level the playing field. We will explore ways to help clients separate feelings of shame from other emotions. And you’ll learn how to take clients back to early shaming situations and reverse the outcome, helping clients move their energy powerfully outward rather than turn it against themselves.
Each of our workshops has a balance of didactic, experiential and interactive elements. In each, there are live demonstrations to anchor the theory and techniques taught, as well as time for questions and comments. While we suggest beginning with the Core Workshop, the workshops can be taken in any order and have no prerequisites, except for Advanced 1 & 2, which require that you have taken at least two previous Healing Shame workshops (including the Core Workshop), and Shame and Trauma, which requires that you have taken at least one previous Healing Shame workshop or have significant training in working with trauma.
we are now offering recorded versions of three of our workshops:
Healing shame Core Workshop
melting the shame freeze
using interpersonal skills to heal shame
these workshops can be taken at any timE. see below for details.
“Clinically, shame is at the root of depression, trauma, addiction, eating disorders and substance abuse. What keeps these psychological issues in place is toxic shame. In place are the are automatic thoughts, and secret or not so secret inner conversations that the person has with him or herself and their inner child age 2 or 5 or ten or the inner teen. And the shame loop that keeps things in place.”
–Sheila Rubin
“I loved the online course. Zoom made it as close to reality as technologically possible. The class size was perfect, enough people for stimulating questions and conversation and small enough to feel intimate. The charts you provided will be so useful. Sheila and Bret, you and your assistants are providing a greatly needed service. Thank you so much! I’ve learned a lot from you and look forward to attending another workshop. Until then, I’m already benefiting watching the recordings, gleaning even more the second time around.”
–Charlette Mikulka, LCSW, author of Peace in the Heart and Home
“I’ve been thinking lots about today’s workshop and how incredible it is that the 2 of you manage to seamlessly create a sense of connection and community among a group of people from all over the world. I was also struck by how compelling the content was and how as I mentioned earlier I learn more every time I participate in one of your sessions. I feel that this session in particular deepened my understanding of how to pendulate the work w/ shame and broadened my repertoire of possible ways to invoke protectors. Bret, the demo was beautiful and so moving. What a visceral impact it had!”
–Fran S., PhD, LCSW, New York
The Center for Healing Shame is approved by the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists to sponsor continuing education for LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs and LEPs in California – CAMFT-approved CE provider #134393. All courses meet the qualifications for hours of continuing education credit for LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs and LEPs as required by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences.
At this time, we are able to provide CE credit only to LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs and LEPs in California. We are not able to offer CE credit to psychologists or nurses in California or to psychologists, therapists, or nurses licensed outside of California in the U.S. and Canada.
By fulfilling course requirements, LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs and LEPs licensed outside of California in the U.S. and Canada can receive an Hours of Attendance certificate. This certificate indicates that the Center for Healing Shame is an approved continuing education provider in California. LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs and LEPs may be able to use the Hours of Attendance certificate to receive CE credit through their state board. Many of our past students have been able to do this. Eligibility varies by state and by board.
It is the participant's responsibility to check with their individual state board to verify continuing education requirements for their state.
Please visit our CE information page for details.
Healing Shame Core Workshop:
Understanding, Reducing and Transforming Shame
Taught by Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin
Shame is perhaps the most painful of all emotions. It is at the root of both the inner critic and perfectionism. It binds with and hides behind other emotions, such as anger and fear, so that it is often hard to detect. Many people go to great lengths to avoid acknowledging or even feeling shame—and this gets in the way of making progress in treatment.
In this workshop, designed for therapists and other helping professionals, you will become aware of shame as both a primary emotion and a freeze state, which has a profound effect on personal development and relationship success, and which has been terribly neglected in most psychotherapy. You will learn that shame cannot be worked with in the same way as the other primary emotions and that special care needs to be taken to work with shame in specific ways.
There is no prerequisite for this course.
We are now offering a recorded version of our Core Workshop
that can be taken at any time.
Melting the Shame Freeze:
Using Somatic Techniques to Create Safety and Build Attunement
Taught by Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin
Shame is an embodied belief that "something is wrong with me." Because shame exists in the body as well as in the mind, it is helpful for therapists to work with shame somatically. Clients stuck in shame have trouble seeing anyone but themselves. It can be hard for them to receive support from another person as they are caught in the grip of shame.
In this workshop, we will explore how to utilize somatic techniques to connect more quickly with the client and forge a strong therapeutic alliance.
There is no prerequisite for this course.
WE ARE NOW OFFERING A RECORDED VERSION OF melting the shame freeze THAT CAN BE TAKEN AT ANY TIME.
Through the Looking Glass:
Using Imaginal Resources to Heal Shame
Taught by Sheila Rubin and Bret Lyon
We are all born with powerful, imaginal resources. We can easily imagine people, places and things that have never existed in our everyday reality. Children learn to cope with life largely through play and fantasy. As we get older, we may use this ability less and less, but it still stays with us. Our imagination not only makes life more interesting, it helps us survive.
We have developed our Imaginal Workshop to provide new and powerful tools that have been incredibly under-utilized in most therapy trainings. Working with shame cognitively can only get us so far. When clients get stuck in shame, the most powerful way to help them get unstuck is to activate their imagination. What was stuck in the cognitive realm can be reexamined and shifted. Shaming situations from the past can be revisited and resolved. Utilizing the Imaginal Realm can greatly expand your toolkit and give you powerful and exciting new ways to heal shame.
In this workshop, we will utilize techniques from Drama Therapy, Focusing, Expressive Arts Therapy, Jungian active imagination processing and Hakomi. We will explore the critical voices and/or the childhood scenes that are still driving the internal shame dynamic in the client.
There is no prerequisite for this course.
Using Interpersonal Skills to Heal Shame –
Undoing Aloneness and Building Attachment
Taught by Sheila Rubin and Bret Lyon
In many studies of the effectiveness of therapy, a strong connection between therapist and client has been noted as the clearest predictor of success. And yet our own fear and shame of doing the wrong thing can get in the way of that connection. In this workshop, you will discover powerful tools to connect with a client quickly and deeply. We will provide demonstrations to help you decide when to hold back and when to bring yourself forward, both emotionally and physically, and we will examine ways to level the playing field that shame distorts—and combine the seemingly contradictory roles of caring friend and trusted expert.
There is no prerequisite for this course.
WE ARE NOW OFFERING A RECORDED VERSION OF our Interpersonal workshop THAT CAN BE TAKEN AT ANY TIME.
Trauma, Shame, and the Nervous System
Taught by Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin
Shame and trauma are both states of freeze. Shame, like trauma, puts the body in a freeze state and lowers the ability to think and act clearly. Shame almost always accompanies trauma—and being shamed can have a traumatic effect. In this intermediate workshop, we will explore the connection between shame and trauma and look at ways to unlock somatic and imaginal resources to work with both effectively.
Prerequisite: Open to students who have taken at least one previous Healing Shame workshop with us or have significant training in working with trauma.
Shame and Addictions
Taught by Sheila Rubin and Bret Lyon
Understanding, reducing and transforming shame is the key to freeing someone from addiction. Working with addictions can be challenging because letting go of the addiction is a huge, terrifying unknown. In this workshop, you will learn how to work very carefully and directly, with compassion and psycho-education, to counter the shame that has been causing and maintains the addiction. You will learn how to become a true support to the part of the client that wants to heal and help them find new paths, while also gently challenging the unhelpful behavior, and help clients broaden their experience and find and seek out resources - people, places and other sources of pleasure, ease and belonging - that can sustain them.
There is no prerequisite for this course.
Unlocking Shame Binds:
Unbinding Shame from Trauma, Grief, Anger, Fear, Joy and Pleasure
Taught by Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin
Shame is designed to keep us safe by binding with the other primary emotions, lower their intensity, and keep them from completing in an action, such as grieving, reaching out, or setting a boundary. When shame binds with anger, fear, joy, curiosity, or grief, those emotions cannot finish. We get caught in a maze of feelings, with no end. In this workshop, we will learn how to help clients untangle shame from the other primary emotions so that they can complete. And we will learn techniques to untangle the binds so the client can live their life in a fuller, more productive, and more joyful way.
Healing Shame in Inner Children — and Actual Children
Taught by Sheila Rubin and Bret Lyon
Using Imaginal techniques, we join and explore the world of the child. We learn how to work effectively and add a healthy coach or caring inner parent to repair the shame-ruptured parts from neglect or simply misattunements. We say hello to the part that wants to eat healthy and the part that wants ice cream. And say hello to the bully and the scary places. We learn to listen deeply—and provide the champion or protector that the child didn’t have. We get to explore and re-enact scenes from childhood when a person was shamed and repair or replace what they wish they could have said.
There is no prerequisite for this course.
Healing Shame in the Inner Teenager — and Actual Teenagers
Taught by Sheila Rubin and Bret Lyon
Our inner teenager lives on! Though we may develop adult bodies and think our teen years are long behind us, somewhere inside that frustrated/scared/ornery/embarrassed/desperate-to-fit-in teen is still alive, deeply influencing our thoughts, words and actions. One of the most important relationships we have is the relationship we develop with our inner teen.
In this workshop, we will teach you how to help your clients reestablish a healthy relationship with their inner teen—how to both listen and talk to that sensitive, creative and essential part of us. We will teach about developing identity, boundary setting, relationship dynamics, body image, nourishment, healthy eating and healthy self-care, and understanding the shame and fear that get in the way.
There is no prerequisite for this course.
Sex and Shame
Taught by Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin
Sexuality is a vital, defining part of our identity. We are at our most vulnerable when we experience sexual feelings—and therefore we're the most prone to feeling shame. We are subject to sexual shaming from early childhood, when we are most vulnerable to moral judgments from family and society and to boundary violations from family members and those older than us. Entering our teenage years, we long to be attractive to others and try desperately to "be cool" and fit in. As adults, we seek a partner and try to balance the constraints of monogamy with sexual adventure. In our mature years, our ability to function sexually diminishes and our faces and bodies are no longer as we remember them.
In this workshop, we will offer tools you can use to help clients talk about, explore and heal the sexual shame that can arise at any stage in the life cycle—and help them towards a life-affirming sexuality.
There is no prerequisite for this course.
Shame and Parenting
– For parents and helping professionals
Taught by Sheila Rubin and Bret Lyon
Your children are your greatest teachers. They teach you humility. No matter how you parent them, in the complexity and confusion of this society, you can’t get it right. Successful parenting can be the most important job there is—and the most challenging.
In this workshop for parents and helping professionals, we provide ways to heal the shame involved in the imperfect art of raising children, so that you can have a thriving, connected, co-created relationship with your child that serves both of you.
This workshop is open to parents who are not helping professionals but would like to learn more.
There is no prerequisite for this course.
Healing Shame in Couples
Taught by Sheila Rubin and Bret Lyon
The more we care about each other, the more vulnerable we are to shame. Intentionally or unintentionally, we poke each other in the tender spots. Couples can shame each other multiple times a day, often without realizing what is happening. This can become a highly reactive cycle, preventing both people from getting their basic safety and attachment needs met. And shame can distort how we hear each other; the received message may have little to do with the message the partner is attempting to send.
In this workshop we will explore the blame/shame game couples can fall into and how to help them stop shaming each other and work together to create a secure base and heal the wounds of the past.
There is no prerequisite for this course.
Shame and the Body – Level One:
Body Image, Eating Disorders and Embodiment – Learning to Love our Bodies at any Age
Taught by Sheila Rubin
Our relationship with our body is our first and most important relationship. Even Freud reported that “All ego is body ego.” Yet many people feel uncomfortable in their own skin. Many feel flawed due to society’s demand that they meet impossible standards of looks and size at every stage of life.
This workshop focuses on aspects of body image and embodiment, including working directly with eating disorders. It will include theory and also be a process group with an experiential component. We will explore embodiment through somatic embodied processes, expressive arts and drama therapy. We will learn to help the client listen to the secret conversations inside, because those conversations have to do with perfectionism and shame.
There is no prerequisite for this course.
Shame and the Body – Level Two:
Transforming Great Sensitivity into Personal Power
Taught by Sheila Rubin
This workshop goes deep into the void between what we think we are supposed to look like/be/feel and real life. Where there is difference there is shame. We add curiosity and a bevy of new techniques to support your being more comfortable with your body so that you can support your client’s growth and embodiment.
This workshop is for therapists who want to work more effectively with clients who have body image issues as well as sub-clinical eating disorder symptoms. We look at: understanding the nourishment barrier and levels of care that begin with self-care; working with shame binds that keep a person from feeling vital and alive; working with the shadow and the places where the person gave up and had to hide her true self; and much more. The workshop includes art processes, movement practices, and recorded guided visualization for practice between sessions.
Prerequisite: Shame and the Body – Level One: Body Image, Eating Disorders and Embodiment
Healing Shame in Men
Taught by Bret Lyon
While no one has an easy time with shame, and many societies don’t really want to acknowledge it, for many men it can be especially hard. Men often don't even realize that they feel shame. They may suddenly find themselves shouting or blaming someone else, or pulling away and stonewalling, without having access to the underlying shame. They may find themselves depressed and isolated, without really knowing why.
This workshop will help you discover and address the invisible shame in many men. You will learn how to countershame them and invite them to join you rather than fight you when shame is activated in the session.
There is no prerequisite for this course.
Healing Shame in Women
Taught by Sheila Rubin
There is shame that gets put on women simply for being female in a male dominated society. Women are shamed for not fitting an unattainable societal ideal. And women can easily internalize the shame, thinking that they don’t “measure up”. This includes how women feel about their bodies, as well as expectations to smile, or be happy, or not to trigger others with overwhelming feelings. From early childhood, many women are taught to be “other focused” and neglect their own needs and desires.
There is no prerequisite for this course.
Shame and Aging
Taught by Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin
We all go through it. No one is immune. And nothing produces more universal shame in our society than aging. Whereas many societies have deep respect for people as they age and see a vital role for elders, our society still worships youth—still idealizes the Pepsi generation.
In this workshop, we will explore and learn to be more comfortable with our own aging process. And we will explore ways to help clients talk about, explore and heal their own shame around aging.
There is no prerequisite for this course.
Advanced 1: Giving Back the Shame
Taught by Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin
This hands-on two-weekend workshop provides a chance to practice specific techniques for working with shame so that you can be even more precise and effective in helping clients gently feel into and integrate their shame. We will look at the moment-to-moment interaction between therapist and client and how to be both caring and forceful, both gentle and relentless, in helping your client to a more positive and accurate view of self and other. You will gain practical experience in attuning more fully to your clients and developing and keeping a safe container so that shame can be explored delicately, without overwhelming yourself or the client.
The workshop now includes an extensive exploration on how to give the shame back, the final step in our process, which can only happen after considerable work. We will teach a variety of ways in which clients can give shame back and release the deadening energy from the past in a way that is ego-syntonic—not scary, but actually comfortable and satisfying for them.
Prerequisite: You must have already taken two Healing Shame workshops.
Advanced 2: ShameShifting –
Transforming Toxic Shame into Healthy Shame
Taught by Sheila Rubin and Bret Lyon
In this advanced workshop, you will learn to help yourselves and your clients shift the shame, transforming it from toxic freeze to helpful change agent. How do we learn from and modify our words and behaviors without going into the toxic freeze state of shame? Even when we have been shamed or abused, how do we take responsibility for the part of what happened that is ours, even if it is quite small, and learn from it? We will cover the shame produced in many situations in which we feel we have let someone down or broken some important rules, including affairs.
Prerequisite: You must have already taken two Healing Shame workshops.
Top artwork by Sheila Rubin