“We are wired to care and we’re taught to be neutral.” –Diana Fosha

In many studies of the effectiveness of therapy, a strong connection between therapist and client has been noted as the clearest predictor of success. And yet our own shame and fear of doing the wrong thing can get in the way of that connection. We can be overly susceptible to messages telling us to be "neutral” and “professional.” We can find ourselves holding back our warmth, generosity, and enthusiasm.

In this workshop you will discover powerful tools to connect with a client quickly and deeply. We will provide demonstrations to help you decide when to hold back and when to bring yourself forward, both emotionally and physically. Because shame can produce a state of freeze, we may need to be even more active and kind in order to counter it. You will learn ways to convey to the client “I’m right there with you”—in a dance in which you alternate between follower and leader. This dance, in which the self of the therapist reaches for the self of the client, can transform toxic shame into healthy shame. Being “right there” in a supportive way with the client is especially important in working with shame, which can turn a person’s gaze inward and make them feel lacking and inferior when the inner critic seems to suddenly take over. The workshop will examine ways to utilize therapist counter-transference and level the playing field that shame distorts—and combine the seemingly contradictory roles of caring friend and trusted expert.

Clients with all-pervasive shame may not know why their life isn’t moving forward or why their relationships or jobs don’t seem to work out. They may come to the conclusion that it's simply because there’s something wrong with them. Shame provides a simple, powerful, coherent narrative. As therapists, we can provide both psychoeducation and a counter-shaming experience of relationship that can change the narrative. We are inviting the client to a dual consciousness in which they can be with shame and trauma from the past in a structured way with our support. In this workshop, we teach a model of how to connect with great care and kindness. This can begin to heal a lifetime of shame and trauma from neglect and abuse. We model how to restore the bridge that was broken by shame and provide gentle guidance back to the true self.

Learning Objectives

Participants will be able to:

  • Describe three strategies to counter situational shame and level the playing field.

  • Compare therapist roles of caring friend and trusted expert.

  • Utilize somatic mirroring and matching to connect with the client.

  • Identify four areas of possible shared experience with the client.

  • Explain the importance of acknowledging differences.

  • Design three counter-shaming strategies.

  • Explain the benefits of repeating the “juice” of what the client is saying, using their own words.

  • Demonstrate and describe “leading from behind.”

  • Design techniques to explain shame to clients without putting them in a state of shame.

Course Level: Beginning
There is no prerequisite for this course.

USING INTERPERSONAL SKILLS TO HEAL SHAME —
Undoing Aloneness and Building Attachment

RECORDED WORKSHOP

Pricing and Registration

$395 course fee
Special rate for interns - $45 off

$40 additional fee for CE credits

12 CE credits available ONLY for LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs and LEPs in California – CAMFT Approved CE Provider #134393
Please note that the number of CE credits for the workshop includes both video time and exercise/practice time.

For details about CE credit, click here.

This recorded workshop can be applied toward certification as a Healing Shame Practitioner.

Course Structure:
The recorded Using Interpersonal Skills to Heal Shame workshop consists of four video classes. You can expect to spend approximately 12 hours on this workshop, including the breakout room exercises that you can do on your own.

For Those Not Seeking CE Credit or Possible Certification:
For those who do not need CE credit or an Hours of Attendance certificate and who are not in (or considering) our Practitioner Certification Program, we do strongly encourage you to write and submit papers (as described below) as a means of engaging with the course more deeply and fostering your individual learning.

Requirements for course credit (for those wanting CE credit or an Hours of Attendance Certificate or for those in the Healing Shame Certification Program):

  • For each of the four classes, write and submit a paper of at least two pages, describing what you learned and how it affected you.

  • After you finish the course, complete and submit the course evaluation form.

  • You must complete the course and submit all materials within six months of the date of purchase. Materials received outside this time frame will not be applied toward the requirements.

For complete details about the requirements for course and CE credit, click here.

Please note: In registering for this workshop, you are agreeing to the terms of our Ethics and Scope of Practice Agreement. 

If you're wondering whether this is the right class for you, please contact Bret Lyon at Bret@healingshame.com, Sheila Rubin at Sheila@healingshame.com, or Elizabeth Davidge at EDhealingshame@gmail.com.

If you’re interested in registering for this recorded training, please fill out the form below and we will email you with the appropriate registration information.


The Center for Healing Shame is approved by the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists to sponsor continuing education for LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs and LEPs in California – CAMFT-approved CE provider #134393. Courses meet the qualifications for 12 hours of continuing education credit for LMFTs, LCSWs, LPCCs and LEPs as required by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences.

The Center for Healing Shame maintains responsibility for this program/course and its content.

WORKSHOP CANCELLATION POLICY

We do not offer refunds for recorded workshops. Registrations are not transferable.

GRIEVANCE POLICY

The Center for Healing Shame seeks to ensure equitable treatment of every person and to make every attempt to resolve grievances in a fair manner.

If you have a grievance, please include your name and contact information and submit it in writing to Sheila Rubin (sheila@healingshame.com).

Grievances will receive, to the best of our ability, corrective action in order to prevent further problems.