Shame and the Body

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Shame-Induced Insomnia—Yeah, It’s A Real Thing. Especially During Covid!

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Shame-Induced Insomnia—Yeah, It’s A Real Thing. Especially During Covid!

One of our Healing Shame workshop participants recently wrote me a letter. Here are her words:

I sometimes lie awake for several hours during the night, and I experience shame during that time. My mind goes in circles about particular aspects of myself or my life that I feel shame about. It never occurred to me until last night that what I was experiencing wasn't anxiety but shame. It's a shame-induced insomnia, and I've been experiencing it on and off for many years.

I have never heard anyone talk about this so I wanted to ask you if you have seen this as a common phenomenon. I would love to learn imaginal tools to apply countershame during those bouts of insomnia. I think it would be helpful for my client work as well because I'd bet that for a lot of people who experience insomnia it is actually related to shame.

Yes, there is such a thing as shame-induced insomnia. Many people lie awake tossing and turning or just thinking, ruminating, with their minds going over and over.

Sex and Pleasure: As Much As You Can Stand

Sex and Pleasure: As Much As You Can Stand

How much pleasure can your body tolerate? That may seem like a peculiar question, but most of us aren’t used to a great deal of pleasure running through our bodies. In fact, we’ve learned to restrict breathing and tighten muscles so that we don’t feel too much of anything, including pleasure.

We are all born with an enormous capacity for pleasure. A healthy baby can feel pleasure in every part of his or her body. Freud called this capacity “polymorphousperverse infantile sexuality” and suggested that we outgrow it, showing clearly his attitude towards pleasure. What if we don’t have to outgrow this immense capacity for pleasure? What if we can free ourselves to get it back again? And what happens to our sex lives then?

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Bound by Shame

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Bound by Shame

Brody is my psychotherapy client—and a psychotherapist himself. In one particular session, he shares with me what happens when he goes into a room full of people; the distress of it for him, the sheer physiological activation of his nervous system, the sweating, his whole body being on high alert. And as he tells me more about what occurs to him under these circumstances, I listen, with care and attention.